My abs are sore.
Not from a workout and not from sleeping awkwardly on my foam
mattress. No, this soreness is
from a case of the giggles…..
It was an ordinary day, yesterday. I had no teaching assignments, no meetings and finished all
written work by 10 am. But for
some reason the normal walk to work, stroll around the market and nighttime run
were filled with laughable memories.
First, on the walk to work, a man on his bike stopped when
he saw me. This is nothing out of
the ordinary. When we started
talking in Swahili he stopped and told me he wanted to talk in English. This is also nothing out of the
ordinary. He then proceeded to ask
me a series of questions.
o Dude:
What is your name?
o Me:
My name is Ellen
o Dude:
Is this true?!
o Me:
Yes, this is true.
o Dude:
Where are you from?
o Me:
I am from the US.
o Dude:
Is this true?!
o Me:
Yes, this is true.
o Dude:
What do you do?
o Me:
I am a teacher and a volunteer.
o Dude:
Is this, true?!
o Me:
HA, yes, this is true.
o Dude:
Are you alone?
o Me:
Yes, I am.
o Dude:
Is this true?!
o Me:
I am laughing so hard at this point that I dramatically answer, ‘I REALLY CAN’T
BELIEVE IT BUT YES, YES IT REALLY IS TRUE!!!!’
Dude rides away giggling too. This is true.
When I arrived at work most of the teachers were out at the
hospital and our principal was traveling.
So what does that mean? It
means that the secretary will ask me to dance the Cupid Shuffle and write me
letters about her previous day to work on her English.
Today she wrote about what time she woke up, what time she
got to work, what time she signed in, what time she had tea, what time she left
work, what time she got home, what time she realized she was locked out, what
time her husband got home, what time she left for a party, what time she got
home again and what time she went to bed.
I knew directly following reading each sentence was time to
giggle.
It also helps the letter ended with ‘I had fun for sure am
telling you Pacha!’
I headed into town to buy some eggs and produce. There is a little mgahawa I usually
stop by to get free food (the owner likes to spoil me with samosas). This time he wasn’t there, but the
young girls who work there were screaming my name across the crowd gathered in
the maze of tomatoes, onions and mangoes.
It was like I was on a red carpet and they just desperately wanted me to
turn their way to take a picture.
‘ASHA! ASHA! ASHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!’ When I finally turned and walked their
way to greet them they smiled and simply said, ‘Hellow’ before giggling and
walking away.
Really?! All
that work for a ‘hellow?’ Giggles.
On the walk home I stopped in a shop for coffee. The couple that owns this place is
precious! The man, Massimo, is
Italian and is constantly going 100 mph even if the setting is as calm as a
spring pond. The woman, from
Rwanda, is full of spunk and definitely the person who calls the shots in their
relationship. As I sipped on my
coffee in the heat (yes I drink hot things in hot weather now), we began
chatting. The conversation started
with how bad car accidents are in Tanzania and proceeded to the refugee status
and dire state of Sudan. Then, suddenly,
out of nowhere, she asks, ‘Do you like Oprah? I do, but I don’t like Tyra.’
Coffee=through my nose. Obviously this was an opinion she really needed to know and
share.
On my last long run before my marathon I took my normal
route: through the side streets and past students, daladala drivers and mamas
with baskets of fruit on their heads. Usually I run by 10-15 people who know me, know my
name, and know my purpose for being here….I don’t even recall meeting
them. But today, when I ran by a
group of people a sudden beckoning of ‘SARAH! JESSICA! MARY!
ANY OTHER WHITE GIRL NAME I CAN THINK OF! MICHELLE! KELLY!’ rang out. They were desperately trying to guess
my name, any name, just so I would turn around. When the little boy next to them yelled ‘Shikamoo Mwalimu
Asha’ to which I responded ‘Marahaba’ they all LOST IT.
Seeing a group of 20 twenty-somethings trying to get the
girls attention only to be outshined by the 9-year-old will always make me
laugh.
Yesterday was not
to be an extraordinary day. But it
sure gave me a good ab work-out and silly memories of ‘the things Tanzanians
say.’
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